Most couples don’t have a hundred problems. They have one cycle that shows up a hundred ways. One partner pushes, the other withdraws; one criticizes, the other defends; both end up feeling alone. Over time the relationship learns to survive on distance instead of connection.

Using Emotionally Focused Therapy, we slow that cycle down and get underneath it to the fear, the longing, and the unmet needs the arguments are really about. The goal isn’t to win the fight or split the chores evenly. It’s repair: the ability to reach each other again, and to recover when you don’t.